IF SHE LOVED ME

©︎Vince Pawless 2019


The thrill of the chase, the thrill of the adventure. The scent of the thrill, the feel of the thrill, the first thrill, the last thrill, the only thrill that mattered. It was thrilling to see you, it was thrilling to talk to you, it was thrilling to be a part of yer deal. It was a thrill up to the last moment, it was a thrill when it was over. Thrills and spills, thrills and chills. The thrill went through her like a blade through butter. It was thrilling to tell it like it was, though I should have told her what I really thought. And it was a thrill to see her.

It was a thrill to help. It was a thrill to be able to just let it go. Such a thrill, big thrill. Thrill hammer, the muscular thrill. Thrilling people, people that thrill. Thrilling situation, thrilling ride, thrilling flight, reveling in the thrill. Thrill the heart, thrill the mind. Thrilling fall from the mountain top, thrilling orbit in space. It was a thrill to get a ride after standing here so long. The biggest thrill, the only thrill, the last thrill you can recall.

The thrill went through us, the thrill missed us completely, the thrill was for someone else. I didn’t order any thrill, how much do you want for that thrill? How much did you pay for that thrill? What’ll you take for that thrill? Aspirin. Is that thrill bonded, is that thrill returnable? Is that thrill guaranteed? So, what is a thrill anyway? A race is a thrill, a contest is a thrill, the world is a thrill, the circus is a thrill. But frankly that doesn’t thrill me. So don’t be thrilled, don’t look for the thrill, don’t depend on the thrill. The thrill of anticipation, the anticipation of the thrill. This time is a thrill, this place is a thrill, life is a thrill, her love is a thrill, or it would be if she loved me.



FORTUNE COOKIE
Y’gotta spill the contents
every once in a while.

CORN CHIPS, CIGARETTES, AND CARS

©Vince Pawless 2019


We all need someone we can lean on. We all need a friend from time to time. Friends are rare, friends are far between, friends are fickle, friends are consumed with themselves. Friends are nowhere when you need them to be. The clear profundity of friends are nothing more than the boring acquaintances you thought they were. Friends are a waste of yer good time. Friends are in name only. Friends will betray your confidence, more than once at the worst of times. The only thing you have to know about friends like that is that won’t happen again.

Friends gather, friends coven, friends huddle like itz cold when itz summertime in Houston. Friends care and friends want to be counted as friends to someone, or something that is bigger than themselves. Or what they think is bigger, or what looks bigger than life itself like Facebook. Friends are the whole deal in social media. Personal advertisement to make their seeming lives glamorous. I remember when they only used to sell corn chips, cigarettes, and cars in the media. Friends are influential, friends are successful, friends are friends of someone else you wouldn’t have a prayer of meeting.

Friends judge, friends fall, friends fool around with other friends, friends can’t keep their Pecos in their pocket. Friends can be caught on the wrong side of town. On the other side of town those friends belong to someone else. Friends are funky, friends are fools, friends are waiting for something to happen. Stand behind your friends, know who yer friends are. Leave the bullshit by the side of the road. Do what you can for the few that are yer friends, and let the chips fall where they may.



FORTUNE COOKIE
It’s like a hurricane in here.

BOON LUCK

©Vince Pawless 2019


A boon is a compliment, a boon is a blessing, a boon is a gift. Boon companion, boon gig, boon time of year. Boon guitar, boon guitar player. The man in the boon, the baleful boon, don’t look now, but there is no boon, too many clouds. Boon deal, boon way of doing yer art, I just love IMPROV. A boon makes you feel good all over, so a boon is a giveaway, a boon is what you’d like to get when you least expect it.

Boon times, boon lovers, boon way of life. Boon for me? You bet, thanx a boodle. How ‘bout a boon for you? I’ll take two. A boon is a godsend like a good fortune. Like a good deal from out of nowhere, a boon is a windfall. A boon is commendable, a boon is capital, a boon is morally excellent. A boon is satisfactory in quality, and degree. A boon is honorable and worthy. A boon is educated and refined. A boon is genuine. A boon is highly regarded. A boon is highly sought. A boon is something to be thankful for. A boon is something that is asked like a favor sought. A boon can be given voluntarily.

A boon can be coaxed, a boon can be the result of nothing good at all. Yin, yang, up, down, good, bad, black, white. Hang in there. A boon is something bestowed, a boon is something given. A boon is something acquired without any particular effort by the recipient. A boon is a total gift. A boon can be right place, right time. A boon is a special ability like saying the right thing at the right time.

But, a boon can never show. You can be boonless despite the best of yer efforts. Now, it can be a boonless situation and there will be nothing in this bad, old world you can do about it, till you do something about it. Boon luck.



FORTUNE COOKIE
Home is where the
word processor is.

QUALIFY FOR A LOAN

©︎Vince Pawless 2019


Sex is lovely, sex is the desired effect. Sex is always had by others that don’t give a rat’s ass about sex. Sex is under appreciated, sex is ignored, sex is one of the last places in line, because sex is steamy. Sex is honestly. Sex is under the covers, sometimes. Sex is in a cab, sex is in a horny lawyer, or doctor’s office. Sex is in a place you might never have supposed.

Sex is on a park bench, sex is at an amusement Park. Sex is inconvenient, sex is right place, right time. Sex is misunderstood. Sex is never where you want it to be, sex never happens when you want it to. Sex is lost in a shuffle of moralistic bullshit. Sex is confused, but so was your mother. If you weren’t just a little sexy why would I want a thing in the world to do with you, because the predicament of love is just a hollow oath without the comfort, and togetherness of a healthy sex life.

Yer want-able if yer sexy, yer valuable if you are sexy, yer noteworthy if you are sexy, yer sexy if you are sexy. Yer not necessarily sexy if yer good looking, yer sexy if yer sexy. Sex is long, sex is short, sex is good, sex is bad. But sex is way better than what comes in second. Sex is like a bank account, you never have enough and you can’t qualify for a loan.



FORTUNE COOKIE
Tell her how it’s cold and lonely
when you see my “X”. Tell her she can
save her tears and hold her pity,
until she’s seen my next.

DIVINE IN YOU

©Vince Pawless 2019


The divine complication, the divine hour, the divine thought. Divine intention, divine action, divine result, divine way. Divine look. If you would allow me, you look divine. The divining rod, the divine path, the divine trail, the divine compliment, the off handed compliment. The divine treatment, the divine palace, the divine hovel. The divine deception, the divine moment, the divine music in yer ear. The divine procession, the divine costumes, the divine makeup. The divine sky, the divine clouds, the divine cities under the sun, the divine armies buried here.

The divine consideration, the divine sympathies, the divine giving, the divine charity. Divine freedom, divine completion, divine conclusion, divine comedies. The angelic divine, the anointed divine, gloriously divine, the divine mind, divine right of kings. The diviner’s wand, magnificently divine, spiritually divine, splendidly divine. The unearthly divine, the supposed divine, the perceived divine, the understood divine. The divine woman, the divine man, the divine children of the divine.

The divine exaltation, the divine relief. The divine landscape, the divine order, the divine wilderness. Divine size, divine togetherness. The divine of the dastardly, the divine thief. The divination in the supernatural, the divine insight, the divine answer, the divine question, the divine supreme. Blissfully divine, immaculately divine, rapturously divine, the ambrosia of the divine. The godlike divine, celestially divine, the divine universe of concept. Namaste, the divine in me honors the divine in you.



FORTUNE COOKIE
So, is it hotter in Houston
or, in the summertime?

MISPLACED YOUR LOVE

©Vince Pawless 2019


Misplace the queen of the kingdom, misplace the castle in the air. Misplace the face in a crowd. Misplace the figure on a beach, misplace the figure in the bed. Misplace the touch, misplace the feel, misplace the thought, perish the thought. Misplace the charm, misplace the imagination. Misplace the flight of fancy. Misplace the ambition, misplace the aspiration, misplace the pride. Misplace the love of the misplaced.

Misplace the desires, misplace the care, misplace the comfort, misplace the dream, misplace the wish, misplace the voice like an echo, misplace the time you were there. Misplace the time we were together. Misplace the notes on a guitar. Misplace the way that you looked at me. Misplace the reasons to care. Misplace the smooth of the hand. Misplace the smell of the perfume. Misplace the sound of the voice. Misplace the warmth of the smile. Misplace the confidence you had in me. I was so afraid I had misplaced yer love.



FORTUNE COOKIE
Like the earth and the moon,
she and I were falling together.

ONCE UPON A TIME

©Vince Pawless 2019


The way that it was was perfect. The way that it was was ideal. The way that it was was the way that it was because we, damn well, made it that way. The way that it was was a dream because dreams really do come true. The way that it was was the way that it was, but nothing lasts forever even the way that it was. The way that it was was worth the hassle of putting it together. The way that it was was the way that it was because we busted our lovely asses making it happen.

The way that it was gave you the chance to be more than you ever were. The way that it was made you taller somehow. The way that it was showed yer character. Maybe more than you supposed. The way that it was showed you learned the lessons yer mother taught you. The way that it was showed you could be counted on in the absolute worst of times. The way that it was made you proud to be in the same room with them that needed you. The way that it was you would be no place else on this earth.

But, the way that it was was harder than you might recall. The way that it was wasn’t kind as you might remember. The way that it was was self serving. The way that it was was exclusionary. The way that it was left you outta the loop. The way that it was made you feel small. The way that it was was, time to time, tougher than a piece of jerky. The way that it was was insulting. The way that it was was uncomfortable. The way that it was was a nightmare. The way that it was was downright unfair. The way that it was left you friendless. The way that it was made you tearful. The way that it was made you alone, and separate from everything else on this lonely little planet.

Nonetheless, the way that it was was simpler than the way that it is. And the way that it was was different than the way itz gonna be. So be it. The way that it was was the way that it was because that was the way that it was, once upon a time.



FORTUNE COOKIE
Don’t know how much of that red
I drank, but I’m sure I drank it all.

THE BLOCKCHAIN

©Vince Pawless 2019


Bank on it, you can take that to the bank. Bank yer savings, bank yer talent, save it up for a rainy day. Bank on me being there, bank on me doing what I say I’m gonna do. Banks create money from nofuckingwhere. They bank somebody else’s winnings, then charge them interest on their money to make the bank more money before they charge them to take the money back out. What a rip. Then again, if you knew how the investor made their money you wouldn’t have any sympathy for them. You sound like a bank.

The bank is closed for the holidaze. The bank is closed because you need it to be open, wouldn’t you just know. A spell came over the banks, the banks are a giant with feet of clay. Bank yer paycheck, bank the extra. No extra? Bank it next week. There’s gold in them there banks. If you can bank it you can sock it away, you can salt it away for another day. When you bank itz collateral for something else. Yer bank is yer stash. And it could be underneath the bed. You can lay it away, so to speak.

A bank is a counting house, a bank is the closest thing to a Presbyterian church. Yer money is safe if itz in a bank, ask the short sellers. A bank is full of people’s savings. And though every bank has credit, a bank is full of profitablity. A bank is full of shit. And every bank has a vault full of shit. And finally, every bank is moving to the blockchain, so much for the vault.



FORTUNE COOKIE
Summon a little charismatic wildness.

JUST CAN’T CRY

©Vince Pawless 2019


A cry is closer to a laugh than a sigh.
A cry is closer to a joy than a desperation.
A cry is closer to a better day.
A cry means a better day is around the corner.
A cry is closer to a solution.
A cry is closer to a resolution.
A cry is a strength,a cry is a strong point.
A cry means yer on yer way.
A cry means you did it yerself.
A cry means you can let it go.
A cry means you’ll never let it go.
A cry means you will move along.
A cry is a release from dog shit.
A cry is the first step in another journey.
A cry means yer unafraid.
A cry means yer unconcerned about others.
When you cry, yer gonna make it.
When you cry, yer gonna be alright.
When you cry, yer gonna be OK.
When you cry, yer gonna be just fine.
A cry is not a weakness.
A cry is not a pity.
A cry is not an embarrassment.
A cry is not a blemish.
A cry is not a chink in yer armor.
A cry is not an Achilles Heel.
A cry is not a failing.
A cry is not a feebleness.
A cry is not a vulnerability.
A cry is not a soft spot.
A cry is not a shortcoming.
A cry is not a flaw.
A cry is not a problem.
When you cry, you won’t take no for an answer.
When you cry, yer gonna show yer tough as nails.
When you cry, yer gonna show yer stuff.
When you cry, you won’t be denied.
When you cry, you stare in the face of grief.

It doesn’t hurt to cry, it feels good to cry.
Not to worry, if it gets that bad, try as you may,
you just can’t cry.

PEBBLE INTO A POND

©Vince Pawless 2019


Explosion, big explosion, loud explosion. A Big Bang like a backfire. Exploding buildings, exploding planets like a Death Star. The smoke from the explosion, the ring in yer ears from the explosion. The explosion that leveled the city around. Not an explosion, an implosion. The explosion at the blast furnace, the explosion at the nuclear facility, the explosion on the boat, the explosion on the ship, the explosion in the explosives magazine. Prevent the explosion if you can, ignore the explosion if you will. The explosion of ideas, the explosion of words, managing an explosion like IMPROV.

An explosion like a clap of thunder, a detonation like an explosion. The explosion of notes on a piano like Rob Schwimmer. The explosion was a blowout under a geyser of water. An explosion like a roar, an explosion like a concussion. The report of the explosion, the ignition of the explosion, the aftermath of the explosion. The victims of the explosion, those responsible for the explosion. If itz a big enough explosion how do you tell the difference? I wouldn’t be so cavalier with that damn explosive, it might just explode.

Point that gun somewhere else, would ya. Shape charge explosives, war time explosives, peaceful easy explosives, an explosion like a sunrise. Unanticipated explosion. It just exploded, don’t ask me. Like a fireworks stand, like a gun emplacement, like a writer working with his head down. Explode, exploding, explosive, explosively, explosiveness, exploding rivet, exploding top hat. Like Berkeley said, “it wasn’t how loud the explosion was underground. It was how the ground all around raised up and fell back like a pebble into a pond.”



FORTUNE COOKIE
Where I been and how I got here
is like following the flight of a bird.