©Vince Pawless 2019

It’z a thing of beauty. She is a thing of beauty. The hillside is beautiful, the mountain is beautiful, the sky is beautiful. The trip is beautiful, the city by the bay is beautiful, the city in the desert is beautiful. Everywhere I look is beautiful. The flower is beautiful, the vase you put the flowers in is beautiful. The paintings my guitar maker does are beautiful. Beautiful sculpture, beautiful way of looking at the world. Beautiful prose, beautiful poetry, beautiful music. Beautiful end to a beautiful complication. 

The search for beauty, the struggle the writer endures to make something beautiful out of something plain like the truth. Beautiful design, beautiful result. Beauty launches fleets, beauty christens ships, beauty wages wars. Beauty stops the bullshit, beauty starts the dialogue, beauty is stunning. Beauty is a movement in the Star Spangled Banner. The beauty in the window, welcome to Amsterdam. The horse is beautiful, the horseman rides beautifully. The bull is beautiful, ask Ginger. Beautiful ranch, beautiful circumstance, beautiful night sky from there. 

Beautiful effort, ravishingly beautiful, shapely and beautiful, splendidly beautiful. Beautiful beginning to the rest of the world. Beautiful time, beautiful place, beautiful hour of the day. Beautiful darkness, beautiful morning, beautiful color against all the beautiful colors, which one is beautiful to you? Y’know somewhere out there is a beautiful girl with beautiful thoughts about you. If you can’t see that itz beautiful, perhaps you’re not looking. Now, tell me there’s not something beautiful about a little of every screaming thing in this ugly old world.

What she gives me is better than a pony.


©︎Vince Pawless 2019

Keep calm, carry on. Calm in the eye of the storm, were that it was always this way. Calm seas. Calm doctor, good bedside manner. Calm down, calm winds, calm weather. Calm attitude, calming skies, calming voice, calming demeanor. Calm day under the sun. Calm waters. Becalmed, be glad yer not pissed off about anything this moment. That’s why they call them moments. Peaceful calm, breezeless calm, bucolic calm. Harmonious calm, hushed calm, aloof calm, cool headed calm. 

Dispassionate calm, imperturbable calm, laid back kinda calm. If yer stoned yer calm, if yer levelheaded yer calm. Poised calm, relaxed calm, serene calm, unmoved, and calm, in a hush of the calm. The piece of mind in a calm, the peacefulness of calm, the stillness of calm. When you are becalmed you are dead in the water. Calm like a balm, pacified by calm, stands to reason. The quiet of calm, the sound of calm, a breathless calm, the love of calm, the soothing calm, the deserved calm, wish it would never end. At peace with calm, this’ll take some getting used to. Simmer down big fella, and be calm.

How far is far? Way far. How far
is good? This far. How far is better?
That far. How far is enough? No such thing.
How far is too much? That’s far enough.


©Vince Pawless 2019

I can’t believe you said that, I can’t believe you meant it. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe itz done. I can’t believe you want me to, I can’t believe you want me to go away. I can’t believe I’m here, I can’t believe I could be taken so unaware. I can’t believe you won’t be here when I return. What are you, stupid? What are you ignorant, what are you ignorant and stupid? 

I can’t believe I can go on from here, my ass. I can’t believe anything. I can’t believe what I think I know. I don’t believe you, I don’t know who to trust, I don’t have a clue, I don’t wanna know either. I don’t care what you think, I don’t care what you say, it don’t mean a thing. Can you believe that? Can you accept that itz true? I won’t be here to take this kind of shit again. I can’t stand the dude in charge, I can’t deal with the inconsistency. 

I don’t believe in the teachings. I don’t believe in the book. I don’t have a handle on the situation. I don’t know the way outta here. I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know how I’ll get away. I don’t know if I can, I don’t know if I will. I don’t know if I really want to. I don’t think anyone has a clue. That’s alright, everybody has got cares of their own. And I can respect that, but I don’t have to stick around to listen to it. And I don’t believe in Beatles… John Lennon said that.


I turned my back on everything
and it was…peaceful.


©Vince Pawless 2019

Lost to the world. Lost, and not found. Lost to me is how the lives of friends go. Lost dog, lost cat, lost goldfish, lost elephant, that won’t be hard to find. Lost wallet, lost car, lost key, lost girlfriend, a joke Townes used to tell. Lost cause, lost generation, lost colony. Lost out, lost river, lost wax process, lost touch, lost feel, lost your number, Rats! Lost, but not as lost as you. Lost, but found eventually. Lost, but loster, but lostest. I don’t think those are words, but who knows. 

Lost in line, what have you lost? Lost in the order. Lost to them that think they know it all. Never been lost, never knew we were lost, lost in the woods, lost on the mountaintop, lost in the caldera of a volcano. Lost in the crowd, lost in the parking lot, lost in the theatre. Lost in the shuffle, out here where the street hits the sky. Lost because I forgot my cellphone. Never ever lost, never knowing that you could be lost. The army was lost, the band for the party was lost in Leuwarden. 

Even sitting in a cab we were lost. Are you lost? Lost the thread, lost the handle, lost the idea, lost the way home, lost and forgotten. I may not know where I am, but at least I’m not lost. Find the lost penny, find the lost inspiration, driving down the lost highway, the lost pirate man of war disappearing into the fog. The lost of the Mohicans. My friend got lost, your relatives were lost trying to find your house. 

Lost track of the time, lost track of who we were, lost track of the day. Lost track of the count, how many strikes? Lost mine, lost yours. Lost city in the jungle, lost city in the Yucatán, lost temple in the city, lost ship on the ocean, lost airplane in the sky, Emilia Earhart. Lost direction, lost the way home, lost symphony, lost movement, lost from the beginning. Lost painting, ask the Nazis. Lost, but not least, lost house on the right.

I rest so poorly that if I died in
my sleep it’d probably wake me up.