NOW, THAT’S SICK

©Vince Pawless 2019


When I got sick it was all I could do to just get well, chicken shit sick, very sick, not very sick, but might could be. Not sick enough to miss work, sick time, sick leave, sick wagon, they were sick, anything, but sick, I hope he doesn’t show up, he’s sick, the bassist is sick, so hire the flute player. If I wasn’t sick maybe I’d go, but I’m sick. Sick movie, sick show, sick town, sick world, sickness in the family. If it looks sick, maybe it is. 

Sickness beside a river, sickness on the tundra, sickness among the troops, sickness in the trenches. She was sickly, so I worried myself to distraction. But, the sickly woman took good care of me even being sickly. The sickest people are the ones that see sickness in others. That joke was sick, that scene was sick, treat the sick. Treat the sick with respect, it’s called a bedside manner, and it used to come along with the package when you got sick. Now you only find it in retail. 

The sick should be represented, the sick should be cared for. I would be the first in line if I wasn’t sick. If you aren’t sick, try to be sympathetic to those that are. Everyone gets sick sooner, or later, so don’t think you’re immune. Yer immune system may well make you sick these daze. Maybe it’s the shampoo, or the mouthwash, or both. Where did I put my lead plates? 

If you were sick I would take care of you. If I was sick she would heal me. The world is self absorbing like a sponge, so there’s not a lotta time for your sickness when everybody else gets sick, too. The sick people in this line, the sicker people in this line, the sickest people over there. Don’t work nights, after business hours, or weekends, much less all the holidays you can fit in a calendar. If that’s what passes for care, pity the sick. Sick out, sick list, sick ‘em, sickness is contagious, sickness is profitable, good business. 

Sickness is newsworthy, sickness is legendary, sickness can be transmitted. Sickness by the cubic foot of air, by the fluid oz. of water, by the direction of your sneeze, by nasty, little molecules, sickness by the millions. Sickness is green, sickness is not discriminatory, sickness is lucky, or the lack of it. 

The sick need yer help, the sick need understanding. The sick need the law to reign in the vultures in the health professions. You can take advantage of the sick, you can run from the sick, you can hide from the sick, you can ignore the sick, till you become one of them. But you won’t get sick, trust me. Getting sick costs money, and money might be the only thing that gets you well, or just kinda well so they have someone to treat forever. Curing the sick would be unprofitable. Now, that’s sick.



FORTUNE COOKIE
Writing is like a cat
playing with a bug.