PUT IT SOMEWHERE

©Vince Pawless 2019

She had a trashy smile that made her the envy of every woman. Yer cash ain’t nothing, but trash. If you can’t think of anything better to do, take out the trash. Don’t let the trash get outta hand. Don’t let them think of you in the same breath with that trash. Keep quiet while they trash the poor fool. Trash is a legacy.

The mountain of trash, the ocean of trash, the plastic trash, the biodegradable trash, the trash that will still be gyring in the sea in a thousand years. Digging through trash is a way to see how people live, hauling trash is a way to make a living. The trash is a home for some, so if you stack it right the trash becomes a wall against the rain. 

He trashed her, she trashed him, they trashed the others, the others trashed the comers newer than themselves. Trashy people, trashy neighborhood, trashy thoughts, cities made of trash, islands made of trash, seashores made of trash. Trash for as far as you can see. The largest man made structure in the world is a landfill. The secrets in trash, the logic to trash, the rationale of trash, he rhetoric of trash, the facts about trash. Ah-ha! Wanna se me pull a rabbit outta my hat? Look the other way and there is no trash. 

One man’s trash is another man’s cargo. So since you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t throw that trash away. Give it to me. I can make the next iPhone out of it. Taking out the trash is work, figuring out where to take the trash is genius. So where there’s people there’s trash, where there’s trash there’s people. The two are intertwined, if not the two sides of the same coin. 

Trash only stays wasted until you figure out what to do with it. Then it becomes part of the GNP. If trash is a problem you’re in luck. They MAKE problems for people. And finally, the plain truth about trash is trash is a resource. Trash is a treasure if you know what to do with it. Trash is slimy, trash is smelly, trash is toxic, trash is gross. Trash is the wrong thing in the wrong place. So, quit yer bitchin’ amigo, put itsomewhere else.



FORTUNE COOKIE
IMPROV will rescue
art from the arcane.

OUTTA THE WAY

©Vince Pawless 2019

The only way to end this conversation is to leave. The only way to end this communication is to leave. The only way to end this infatuation… The only way to stop the bullshit is to walk away. The only one among the many, I only wanted for you to like me. You only wanted to follow some one else around. If I could only fly, if I could only get the hell outta here. If I could only start all over again. Only the lonely, only the few, only the lot of them. 

The only way to help is leave it damn well alone. The hardest thing to do… The only child, the only book, the only guitar, the only way of doing anything. The only road outta town, the only road inta town, the only girl for me. The only view other than first is of someone’s rosy ass. The only band you listen to in all the musics of the world. 

I only want the best for you. I’m only interested in your best. They’re only interested in getting by. My only interest is in staying a considerable distance away. Do yourself a favor, your only interest should be staying considerably away. Get it together. Only child, only girl, only one, only other one, only kind, only style, the one and only. The only way, the other way, another way, not today, but maybe not manana either. 

There’s no imperative you have to come ahead of the pack. You only have to stay out of the teeth of the lead dog. You will be enlightened for the experience. Now, should I be exhaustingly honest, the only reason to break a sweat is to stay out of the way of the herd.



FORTUNE COOKIE
I did it for a song.
And I’d do it again.

¿SEE WHAT I MEAN?

©Vince Pawless 2019

I can keep the ball up in the air longer than you, so follow the bouncing ball, keep the ball in play, stay on the ball. The ball is on the court, the ball is in the field, the ball is in a park, the ball is in a stadium, the ball is off the charts. The ball is round, the ball is ablong, the ball is magnetic, the ball is fuzzy, the ball is hard, the ball is foam rubber, the ball is in the water, the ball with the laces goes a hundred miles an hour. The ball is tethered, the ball is bounced, the ball is hammered with a bat, the ball is kicked with a foot, or two. The ball is in the scrum, the ball spirals through the air, the ball is on the field. The ball has dimples. The ball is about fifty feet from the flag, put it away with a wedge. 

The ball is in the glove, the ball is in the fairway, the ball is in the woods, but not for long. Hand me that driver, dammit. The ball is not your friend, the ball is the object of your immediate obsession. Though the ball is just the ball to both sides of the line of scrimmage, to both ends of the court, to all the batters at the plate, to all the big handed receivers that come down with the ball, to all the jolly fellows on the tee, to that scrappy, little water bug that fields the punt. First you gotta catch the ball.

The ball is coveted, the ball is dunked, the ball is kept away. The ball is handed off, the ball is fought for, the ball is protected, the ball is caught, the ball is thrown, the ball is over the goal line, the ball is through the uprights, but there’s too many men on the field. The ball is off to the side. The ball bounced outta bounds, the ball bounced off his helmet, the ball bounced into the third row of seats, the ball bounced off the backboard, the ball bounced off the scoreboard. 

The ball bounced into the stands, the ball bounced over the catcher’s head, the ball bounced into his hands, the ball bounced into the hoop, he bounced the ball before he dunked it, the ball bounced away on the plate, he’s safe. The ball bounced down to the one yard line. The ball took a funny bounce to get there, don’t touch it, maybe the ball will roll out of the end zone. First and ten from the 20, whew!

The pitcher brushed him back with his fastball, drop ball, curve ball, money ball, round ball, jump ball, foul ball, bunt it. New ball since the old ball went over the fence, the ball is a possession, the ball gets overturned, the ball arcs, the ball gets stuffed, the ball gets stolen by the guard, two easy points. The ball gets penalized, the ball gets handed off, the ball is in the air, the ball is in the middle of the field, the ball is out of bounds, the ball is over the line. 

You can fumble the ball, you can intercept the ball, you can throw the ball away. The ball is at the bottom of the pile. The ball is at your own 1 yard line. You can sneak the ball, you can hike the ball, you can fake the ball, you can hide the ball in your glove, you can run a counter play. You can hide the ball on yer hip, you can pump the ball, who’s got the ball? You can palm the ball and the ref will take the ball away. You can place the ball on a hashmark, you can tip the ball, you can knock the ball over the fence. 

You can shoot the ball from half court. You can shoot the ball from the free throw line. You can shoot the ball from the corner. You can shoot the ball from outside. You can pull up and shoot the ball from the post, or just lay it up. You can set up a pic with the ball. You can dribble the ball the length of the court, and back. You can dribble a ball with both hands. You can dribble the ball between your legs. You can dribble the ball between your opponent’s legs. ¿See what I mean?



FORTUNE COOKIE
There ain’t nothing in this crazy world,
but me and this girl.