NEVA’ WEA’ UNDERWEA’

Never say never. Never you mind, never is a long time, never rolls off your tongue, never is bravado, never is an end point but hard to draw with a ball point pen. Never welcome in my house again. now, that’s not hard to understand, is it? Never is an opinion, never is a conviction, never is a principle, never is a rule harder to keep than you might think. Never is a fancy, never is a brag, never is big talk, never is advice, never is a dream, never is a location you may never get to despite your best efforts. Never is a whole lot longer than forever.

Never mind, never tell, never want for anything, never get paid, never get happy, never get along with anyone. Never stop, or never go. Never stand for anything. Never be, never see, never once, never again, never make, never made, never belong, maybe better than to ever belong. Never there, never go, never believe, but it could be worse. Never ending, never taken for granted, never stand in the way, never get something for nothing, never get the chance. Make your own chances, look elsewhere.

Never-never, never more, never-never land, Michael Jackson. Never walk under a ladder. Never stop to take a photo in the middle of an intersection. Never smile, never care, never wish something bad on anyone that doesn’t deserve it. Never be bad, never come to grips, never give up. Never sit. Never hold anything against anyone, what a bore. Never put your friend at risk. Never put yourself at risk anymore than you must.

Never sell yourself short. Never pretend you’re anything you’re not. Never give somebody a hard time unless they ought to get a hard time from you. Nevertheless, never have the problem again. Never let them walk. But, never cause grief, never think you’re above it all. Never want to do that again.

Never put anything else in the gas tank. Never put 30weight in the wiper fluid, or the radiator. Never tell the road manager you don’t know where the gig is. Never go down that road. Never play that club. Never let the bass player’s girl go along, unless she drives, and carries his rig into sound check. Never put your strings on just before a set. Never spit on the front row, sing into the microphone. Never be late for a gig. That kind of never makes a good impression even if you do sound like shit. Never take checks for the gig. Peace in the band depends on it.

Never drink, and you’ll be like the cocker spaniels at the AA meeting. Wouldn’t trust a man that never took a drink, every once in a while. Never spend money you don’t have. Never lust, take what you will, take what you can and be happy with what you get. Never grin and bear it, much harder said than done. Never stand on your accomplishments because the world just might pass you by. Keep pushing.

Never think, because if you start thinking, then Geoff will start thinking. And if Geoff starts thinking then David will start thinking. And if David starts thinking…well, David is a professional. Never thought it mattered, oh well. Never could remember, never will forget. Never buy a lemon, but how can you tell. Never had anything like that, never been treated that way, never be treated that way again.

Never went so far before. Never stood on the moon. Never been in Africa, never took the space shuttle anywhere. Never gone down that road, never had it to worry about. Never asked anyone for anything. Never want when you could have what you will. Never seemed like it would ever happen to me. Never try, just do. I was never so embarrassed. I was never so mad, I was never as livid as I was when that pencil dick kept pestering my wife. So I never went there again.

So I never even thought about it, so I never gave it the slightest, so it never bothered me at all, it never came across my desk again. So I never told her, so she never came around, harrumph. He’ll never pay me what he owes me, she’ll never give it a thought, so never worry about it, never give it another thought. Never again. Never tell what you don’t want to have to deal with down the line. Never is harder to do than you think it would be. Never is a lot of things but sometimes never doesn’t cover it. I never leave the neighborhood. I never put my wishes ahead of others, but that’s what my mother always said.

Never be the last in line, if you can help it. Never forget to say you’re sorry. Never forget to say something good, or say nothing at all, my mother was all over this stuff. Never stop counting. Never quit. Never thought you would. Never had it in me. Never the same. Never anything more. Never was not my intention, never was not my style, never wanted that to happen. Never would believe, never would recommend. Never would’ve said that. Never saw such bullshit in my life.

Never can tell. Never was so heartless as that lotus bitch. Never challenge that creep, stay out of the deep water. Never come up for air. Swim on. Never stand in the way of progress. Never had the intelligence goodness gave a cricket. Never drink Coke, never drink Pepsi, never start a cross country trip without a diet Dr. Pepper and a bag of M&Ms.

Never been to the Grande Canyon, never been west. Never going again without water, but you can never go home, you can never see that far. You can never make it up to her. So never be obnoxious, never be cute. Never be the person that never says hello, elevator talk to elevator types. Never be left behind. Never quit when you’re ahead. Never liked you in the first place. Never could rely on her, but I did.

Never stand for it. Never come down out of that tree. Never stand alone. You are your own best friend. Never came back. Never come back. Never thought to look. Never had any idea, never thought it would make any difference. Never will. If you never try you’ll never know. If it never could, if it never would. What if you never gave it a chance? What if you never gave it a second thought? It might never come to pass.

Never is a solution, never is an ultimatum. And never is an answer, and never is an excuse. Never only comes around every once in a while, so you won’t run into never on the bus, unless you stand in front of the line. You’ll never get away with that. You’ll never get away with speeding through stoplights in the city, for long. Never is a belief that nothing can go wrong till that wheel comes off your wagon. Trust me, that never happens.

Never is a promise. Never is a hoodwink. Never is a boast, never is a lie, though never just about covers it. Never be the only one complaining. Never be the only chicken in the yard. I never did get it. I never would’ve told you. I never thought it was worth the cover charge. Never go away. Never wear out you’re welcome. And never stop for gas at the corner of Kirby and the southwest freeway. And if you just got the job, never be the last fellow to a meeting. Never can tell.

“I neva’ wea underwea,” she drawled between sips of her gin and tonic. Just about closing time I asked this belle of the bar if she was free. She rolled her eyes, and groaned dismissively in my face, “neva’, sonny… lest I seem unkind, lemme rephrase that. When HELL freezes ova’.”